work!

ahh! have been really busy working. haha!

yes, work. boo. ):

i`m selling mooncakes laa. haha! but the sales are always super bad cos nobody want to buy and so i can just sit down on my bum and chit chat or stone while getting six bucks every hour. hee! (:

but its very boring laaa. ): at least its only till next week. heh. after that, i can go SHOPPING!! ((: can`t wait. (: money come quickly pls. heh.

anyways, today i saw bok at jp. haha! went window shopping with her during working hours. tsktsk. bad influence la that bok. haha! we need to shop!! :D omg, that bag, that pair of heels, those pretty *ahem* you know... ahhhh! shop shop shop pls! ((:

and yesyes! i want a party thingy! it`ll be so fun!! (((: wheee! maybe we can go have high tea altogether. teehee! ((:

can`t wait for women`s meeting this sat. i just know that it`ll be so so good. (:

on a side note, i absolutely cannot stand the stupid electronic laterns that have songs. GAH! damn noisy pls! not only do they have "its`s a small world", the "shi shang zhi you mama hao" mother song, that repeats over and over and over non-stop, now got new one!

more modern, more hip!

laterns shaped to look like hello kitty or doraemon, with TECHNO songs! wth!!

"i only kisk kiss kiss when the sun don`t shine, wo-oh-oh!"
"i like la-di-da-di-dum, you like it la-di-da-di-dum!"

ARGHHH!

its horrifying to think that the children of this generation are being exposed to techno music at such and early age. appalling!

and yes, alot of people actually buy those types. don`t know what the parents are thinking pls. like, seriously.

i think my iq will deteriorate significantly by the time i finish this job. the lantern shop is just behind me. bah.

i hope the time passes quickly.
i don`t like this job alr!

awesome grace.

aahhhh!

:D :D :D

*beams widely* ((:

ding is very happy. and will remain that way forever. (:

***

geez. where do i start. (:

OH MY GOD, I LOVE GOD!! haha!

okay okay.

i finally feel like me again. (: i finally fully feel.

like someone who is shortsighted for so long and finally got specs. the fullness of what he sees. the colours. the tones. the vibrancy. the clarity.

knowing Him and His love for me is one thing. its like me going about without specs. i can see, but it is blurred. it is not clear. it is fuzzy. it doesn`t seem definite. i know that something is there, but i can`t really see what. i may see a bus coming, but i do not know the number. i get confused.

but actually knowing in my heart, His awesome love for me, is another thing. everything becomes clear. now i know that that what i see is right. i no longer doubt if the bus number i see is 15 or 76. i know. i am certain, i am sure.

the analogy is not very good laa. not everyone is shortsighted and no, wearing specs is not nice. but ya. i never want to go about my life without seeing clearly anymore. i don`t want to wander about hazily without opening my eyes and taking a good clear look. i have a destiny, a destination. and i will open the eyes of my heart and walk in that direction.

but i know, that even if i stumble (slumber, HAHA!), Jesus is still here with me. no matter how far i`ve run astray, i can never run out of the palm of his hand. for my Daddy God never leaves me.

and no matter how low i`ve dropped. no matter how far i`ve gone from his destiny for me. my Daddy is faithful and He will bring me back. it is in His faith that my faith grows. in the same way as it is through His love that i so love him.

a huge step, a breakthrough, a fresh touch, a refreshing, an awakening, an awesome God. (:

Daddy, you never fail to amaze me by the way you work. haha! (:

love,
ding the darling of Jesus, the favoured and the blessed. (:

oh boo. ):

the weather was so unaccommodating! the beaching session that we planned for so long got cancelled due to the rain which went on for the whole day.. boooo. which didn`t help when we went to town to in the afternoon. gah. wet slippers = icky feet.

and haha! my bag is a hazard for white tops. HAHA! oopsies. sorry qila. heh. (:

we need to plan another beaching session okay? i can`t believe the weather ruined the last two sessions laaaa. boo. now we have to wait till the next hols! =/ and oh btw, i absolutely love your bikini la qila! damn, i want to buy a new bikini. heh. :D

***
sometimes, i think i shouldn`t act so quickly and so rashly. i think i need to learn how to think before i do, and to not do anything at all sometimes cos it may be the best thing to do. sigh. what you want for me is for my own good, and i know you don`t mean any censure or condemnation. but sometimes, it just seems that way at that point of time you know? but after i`ve time to think about it, i know that that`s not the way it is and i apologise for my not so gentle words. i just need time. and the circumstances now is not helping. i don`t feel like i belong. how do i go from there?

still Daddy`s precious no matter what.
ding.

nojob/nobeaching

arghh. ding is not happy today. ):

nobody wants to hire me. ): and i need a job so darn badly.

and i hate days where my auntie comes. )): gah. ruin everything pls. now i`m not even sure if i can go beaching tmr. UGH. wth.

go away laaa. go away today. ):

ding needs something to cheer her up, like beaching.

*roar.

/edit. and oh, my gpa went up to 2.56. (: at least there`s something that`s good. although i kinda wanted it to reach 2.6. but oh wells. it will continue to improve, amen. (:

oh daddy.

Daddy God, i know you know that no matter what, i love you so very very much because you first loved me. nothing can ever be greater than what you have sacrificed just for me. daddy, i know that even if i don`t put it in words, even if i don`t put it in actions, you know that deep down, i love you more than anything in the world.

but daddy, i want to be able to love you like i did before, spreading your love, proclaiming your goodness in my life, serving you. i want to be so drenched in your presence.

but somehow i can`t. i no longer feel comfortable, i no longer feel like i belong. i`m so out of place, i`m not part of them. but even though i don`t belong, i don`t want to leave. if only i could have this. i need this jesus. i need you once again. i should never have left, and i want it all back. but i can`t!! )): everything has changed. everything is different now.

daddy, i can`t but i know you can. i can`t jump right in again, i can`t engage myself just like *snap* that. daddy, pls take my hand. take my hand and guide me back again. slowly, one step at a time.

daddy, i`m sorry i even left. i`m sorry. )':

job hunting

:D

went job hunting with shep in town today. and.. it went fairly well i think. gonna go down tmr for interviews. (: i want the job laaaa. i want i want i want.

***

hmm. not say i don`t want to be serious or anything. but things are so different from before.. if everything`s so different now, how do you expect me to jump right in and be as excited or inolved as i once was? now, when i`m there, i feel like an outsider. in fact, i am an outsider.

and its not like i don`t want to.. i do. but i can`t when everything has changed. everything i once had is no longer there. and even if i were to be as before, it would take time. but somehow, the way i see it now, the time and chance for me is gone. its a new situation now.

Daddy, you know me best.

results!!

OMG.

i was happily sleeping on my bed, intending to sleep all the way till 3 pm or something, when my phone went "doors closing. beep beep beep beep beep!"

okay, that`s the sms sound laaa.

anyways, i woke up to my exam results laaa!

!!!!

it totally freaked me out.

but ya, i passed everything!! ((: i`m super happy la!

accounts - A
lcomm - B+
crim pro - C
contract - C+
socio - C+

teehee! okay, its not like, wah damn good. but yeah, its really Daddy`s grace and favour that i can pass crim pro and contract lorr. (:

hmm. can such results push up my gpa? i don`t know how to calculate leh. =/

i`ll see tmr. (:

whee! ding is a happy girl. (:

i need a job

argh.

i need a job.

i`ve been slacking and rotting away at home, and i`m getting bored to death. there`s nothing to do. ):

and oh yeah, i need money too.

uurrrggghhhhh.

but i`m too lazy to actually get out of the house to go look for a job laaa. ): and i don`t really like working alone. =/ grrr.

damn sian.

i need a job and i shall get a job. hmpf.

18 alr! ((:

hahaha! okay, so yes. i know that i haven`t been updating. aiyaaa. lazy laaaa. heh.

anyways, a recap on what has happened.

exams are over and done with, but results are out in 3 days. hah. =/

had a crazy ass time on shahira-the-chairman's birthday. fish and co yummy gelat yumminess. (: and whacky chop chilli chop+balancing act. and outrageous forfeits!! HAHAHA! i will never ever forget priya the crab/madonna. hahaha! and shahira-i-need-to-shit. HAHAHA! ((:

chalet, bbq, old changi hospital, ghosts, surprise birthday cake, drinking, baileys, beer, puking, beach, talking in the wodden hut thingy, photos photos photos. great time with great people i love and i care for. ((:

birthday was yesterday. :D 18! ((: thanks to all who wished me, whether by sms, calls (or those who tried to call but i didn`t pick up because the phone was in the room. haha) or face to face. (:

thank you NP cg for the cake and prayer and company. (: and the present too. hahaha. its oh-so-very-pretty but i don`t know how to use!! hahaha! oh my hat ding, 18 alr. you`ve got to learn how to use such stuff! haha! thank you for being there even though i`m not in your cg and most of you don`t know me. haha.

thank you nez, qila, leo, shep and wan. for taking the time out to spend time with me on my actual birthday. (: thanks for the superyummiliciouschocolatenutellaohsosinful cake. (: thanks for not being angry cos i was late. haha! thanks for the wonderful time that i enjoyed so much even though it was nothing special. thanks for the chit chat at starbucks where we talked about nothing of importance but where i could just spend hours doing just that if it were not for the last train. thanks for loving me even though i may not be the nicest of people usually. thanks for loving me for who i am. i love you i love you i love you!! -muahh!

thank you Daddy for loving me non-stop, for always being there for me, for never letting me go. thanks you Jesus for drawing me back into your loving arms when i run astray. thank you Daddy that you love me unconditionally and nothing i do can ever make your love run dry. thank you daddy for accelaration and restoration that i know is already happening. Daddy, oh Daddy, its all about you. i`m coming back to the heart of worship. i love you.

beaching on thursday with qila and nez! can`t wait! ((: gonna bake in the sun, snack like mad, and sit on the beach together, waiting for our results. hahaha!

much love,
ding. :D

*******

blessed blessed birthday bok! ((: tell me if you want the soft copy okay? ((: