work!

ahh! have been really busy working. haha!

yes, work. boo. ):

i`m selling mooncakes laa. haha! but the sales are always super bad cos nobody want to buy and so i can just sit down on my bum and chit chat or stone while getting six bucks every hour. hee! (:

but its very boring laaa. ): at least its only till next week. heh. after that, i can go SHOPPING!! ((: can`t wait. (: money come quickly pls. heh.

anyways, today i saw bok at jp. haha! went window shopping with her during working hours. tsktsk. bad influence la that bok. haha! we need to shop!! :D omg, that bag, that pair of heels, those pretty *ahem* you know... ahhhh! shop shop shop pls! ((:

and yesyes! i want a party thingy! it`ll be so fun!! (((: wheee! maybe we can go have high tea altogether. teehee! ((:

can`t wait for women`s meeting this sat. i just know that it`ll be so so good. (:

on a side note, i absolutely cannot stand the stupid electronic laterns that have songs. GAH! damn noisy pls! not only do they have "its`s a small world", the "shi shang zhi you mama hao" mother song, that repeats over and over and over non-stop, now got new one!

more modern, more hip!

laterns shaped to look like hello kitty or doraemon, with TECHNO songs! wth!!

"i only kisk kiss kiss when the sun don`t shine, wo-oh-oh!"
"i like la-di-da-di-dum, you like it la-di-da-di-dum!"

ARGHHH!

its horrifying to think that the children of this generation are being exposed to techno music at such and early age. appalling!

and yes, alot of people actually buy those types. don`t know what the parents are thinking pls. like, seriously.

i think my iq will deteriorate significantly by the time i finish this job. the lantern shop is just behind me. bah.

i hope the time passes quickly.
i don`t like this job alr!

awesome grace.

aahhhh!

:D :D :D

*beams widely* ((:

ding is very happy. and will remain that way forever. (:

***

geez. where do i start. (:

OH MY GOD, I LOVE GOD!! haha!

okay okay.

i finally feel like me again. (: i finally fully feel.

like someone who is shortsighted for so long and finally got specs. the fullness of what he sees. the colours. the tones. the vibrancy. the clarity.

knowing Him and His love for me is one thing. its like me going about without specs. i can see, but it is blurred. it is not clear. it is fuzzy. it doesn`t seem definite. i know that something is there, but i can`t really see what. i may see a bus coming, but i do not know the number. i get confused.

but actually knowing in my heart, His awesome love for me, is another thing. everything becomes clear. now i know that that what i see is right. i no longer doubt if the bus number i see is 15 or 76. i know. i am certain, i am sure.

the analogy is not very good laa. not everyone is shortsighted and no, wearing specs is not nice. but ya. i never want to go about my life without seeing clearly anymore. i don`t want to wander about hazily without opening my eyes and taking a good clear look. i have a destiny, a destination. and i will open the eyes of my heart and walk in that direction.

but i know, that even if i stumble (slumber, HAHA!), Jesus is still here with me. no matter how far i`ve run astray, i can never run out of the palm of his hand. for my Daddy God never leaves me.

and no matter how low i`ve dropped. no matter how far i`ve gone from his destiny for me. my Daddy is faithful and He will bring me back. it is in His faith that my faith grows. in the same way as it is through His love that i so love him.

a huge step, a breakthrough, a fresh touch, a refreshing, an awakening, an awesome God. (:

Daddy, you never fail to amaze me by the way you work. haha! (:

love,
ding the darling of Jesus, the favoured and the blessed. (:

oh boo. ):

the weather was so unaccommodating! the beaching session that we planned for so long got cancelled due to the rain which went on for the whole day.. boooo. which didn`t help when we went to town to in the afternoon. gah. wet slippers = icky feet.

and haha! my bag is a hazard for white tops. HAHA! oopsies. sorry qila. heh. (:

we need to plan another beaching session okay? i can`t believe the weather ruined the last two sessions laaaa. boo. now we have to wait till the next hols! =/ and oh btw, i absolutely love your bikini la qila! damn, i want to buy a new bikini. heh. :D

***
sometimes, i think i shouldn`t act so quickly and so rashly. i think i need to learn how to think before i do, and to not do anything at all sometimes cos it may be the best thing to do. sigh. what you want for me is for my own good, and i know you don`t mean any censure or condemnation. but sometimes, it just seems that way at that point of time you know? but after i`ve time to think about it, i know that that`s not the way it is and i apologise for my not so gentle words. i just need time. and the circumstances now is not helping. i don`t feel like i belong. how do i go from there?

still Daddy`s precious no matter what.
ding.

nojob/nobeaching

arghh. ding is not happy today. ):

nobody wants to hire me. ): and i need a job so darn badly.

and i hate days where my auntie comes. )): gah. ruin everything pls. now i`m not even sure if i can go beaching tmr. UGH. wth.

go away laaa. go away today. ):

ding needs something to cheer her up, like beaching.

*roar.

/edit. and oh, my gpa went up to 2.56. (: at least there`s something that`s good. although i kinda wanted it to reach 2.6. but oh wells. it will continue to improve, amen. (:

oh daddy.

Daddy God, i know you know that no matter what, i love you so very very much because you first loved me. nothing can ever be greater than what you have sacrificed just for me. daddy, i know that even if i don`t put it in words, even if i don`t put it in actions, you know that deep down, i love you more than anything in the world.

but daddy, i want to be able to love you like i did before, spreading your love, proclaiming your goodness in my life, serving you. i want to be so drenched in your presence.

but somehow i can`t. i no longer feel comfortable, i no longer feel like i belong. i`m so out of place, i`m not part of them. but even though i don`t belong, i don`t want to leave. if only i could have this. i need this jesus. i need you once again. i should never have left, and i want it all back. but i can`t!! )): everything has changed. everything is different now.

daddy, i can`t but i know you can. i can`t jump right in again, i can`t engage myself just like *snap* that. daddy, pls take my hand. take my hand and guide me back again. slowly, one step at a time.

daddy, i`m sorry i even left. i`m sorry. )':