in awe.

Daddy, i thank you for everything that You`ve done for me. i thank you for all that has happened the past week.

just one word. awesome.

what can i say
what can i do
but offer this heart, oh God
completely to you.

i stand with arms high and heart abandoned,
in awe of the One who gave it all
i stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered
all i am is Yours

i love You so so much. (:

Its the one thing that i need
Your presence, is all i`ll ever seek
Overwhelm me with Your love
Till all i see is you

Jesus, all my fears they fade away
when i see you.

Jesus, You put a smile on my face. (:

You are all that i need.

hurt.

A single raindrop glides,
down the window pane
Trailing a watery path,
down the long stretch of glass
Slowly, slowly,
till nothing remains
It disappears.
No one sees,
nor notices.

----

yeah, its been unfair to you. all you and no me. its all thrown to you and almost none to me.

when in fact its me who`s so much worse.

i`m sorry. really i am.

my flaws are still there. insensitve kinda equals to selfish right?

-ding

disappointment.

sometimes i just learn about things that i think i`d be better off not knowing.

i guess sometimes when you believe and trust in a person so much, the disappointment and shock is quite possibly too much to bear.

a knife in the back. just like that. from someone i trusted, someone i cared for. and i thought it went both ways. i guess i thought wrong.

its shit like this that makes me wish i`d kept myself safe behind a wall to begin with. to trust, to open up, to care, to love. all for what? betrayal in return.

what for let people matter to me so much that they can hurt me equally as much.

hah.

i hate how that sounds. like a sappy fool of a girl. i guess i don`t like knowing that people can hurt me so easily. gah.

and really, i`d rather it be said to my face than behind my back. i`d rather you use words to hurt me, beacause actions hurt so much more. or maybe that was the point.

------

i typed that on monday and now things are way worse.

but since i`m already hurt, why not take it all at one shot?

GIVE ME THE LIST.
GIVE ME THE LIST OF THINGS THAT I DID.

i don`t even know how to feel know.

hurt? shocked? amazed? embarrased?

i don`t want to face you anymore.

this is too much.

thanks. hah.

outings.

i need to be saved from myself. i`m dying within me. nothing seems to matter anymore.

the 4e2 chalet was nice. (: i missed raisa, may and suelin so much. (:

and yeah, we`re all still the same. haha. all of us ahh, not only me and sasa. hee.

i`m so glad we`re still able to keep in contact. a gathering at least once a year and the next thing we know, we`ll be attending one of our weddings. haha! can`t wait! :D

a good turn out for the chalet considering that it was quite last minute. heh. and this is after some people left the night before or earlier that morning.

awww. (: i love. (: had a great time talking and talking throughout the whole night. :D
HAHA! i think this is a very 4e2-boys kinda thing. ahaha! the ace of spades was super stuck on eddie's head. even after he tossed and turned, it still stayed! heehee!

i had a lovely time. (: glad i decided to stay over even though it made me really tired after that. (haha, sasa, i won`t use to word shag. shag=bad. hahaha)

and oh, i think we all look pretty wonderful in the photos considering that most of us didn`t sleep. (:

-----
BGDG outing to arab street al majlis was fun too! ((:

i loved to whole carpets+cushion+aircon thing laa. compared to the icky sticky place downstairs. i`m more willing to deal with their bullshit and horrible service when the environments more comfortable. haha.

and yaa, since i look horrible in all the photos except one, ): , i shall only post that.


yup, the polaroid shot. lovely! ((:

yummy food + good company. (:
well, not totally, but nvm. i guess i shouldn`t expect too much.

and oh! winsor did tarot reading for us! hee! it was so fun! cos everything of inez's reading made sense! HAHA!

and mine, i couldn`t really find the link. heh. expect for the first card that was about the past. it should have been solved already right? but it hasn`t. and i don`t care anymore. gee, how nice.

k, i shall go do fam law now. i haven`t started.

bah.

can i just sleep on forever?
i need you to save me. i need my saviour.