disappointment.

sometimes i just learn about things that i think i`d be better off not knowing.

i guess sometimes when you believe and trust in a person so much, the disappointment and shock is quite possibly too much to bear.

a knife in the back. just like that. from someone i trusted, someone i cared for. and i thought it went both ways. i guess i thought wrong.

its shit like this that makes me wish i`d kept myself safe behind a wall to begin with. to trust, to open up, to care, to love. all for what? betrayal in return.

what for let people matter to me so much that they can hurt me equally as much.

hah.

i hate how that sounds. like a sappy fool of a girl. i guess i don`t like knowing that people can hurt me so easily. gah.

and really, i`d rather it be said to my face than behind my back. i`d rather you use words to hurt me, beacause actions hurt so much more. or maybe that was the point.

------

i typed that on monday and now things are way worse.

but since i`m already hurt, why not take it all at one shot?

GIVE ME THE LIST.
GIVE ME THE LIST OF THINGS THAT I DID.

i don`t even know how to feel know.

hurt? shocked? amazed? embarrased?

i don`t want to face you anymore.

this is too much.

thanks. hah.