oh daddy.

Daddy God, i know you know that no matter what, i love you so very very much because you first loved me. nothing can ever be greater than what you have sacrificed just for me. daddy, i know that even if i don`t put it in words, even if i don`t put it in actions, you know that deep down, i love you more than anything in the world.

but daddy, i want to be able to love you like i did before, spreading your love, proclaiming your goodness in my life, serving you. i want to be so drenched in your presence.

but somehow i can`t. i no longer feel comfortable, i no longer feel like i belong. i`m so out of place, i`m not part of them. but even though i don`t belong, i don`t want to leave. if only i could have this. i need this jesus. i need you once again. i should never have left, and i want it all back. but i can`t!! )): everything has changed. everything is different now.

daddy, i can`t but i know you can. i can`t jump right in again, i can`t engage myself just like *snap* that. daddy, pls take my hand. take my hand and guide me back again. slowly, one step at a time.

daddy, i`m sorry i even left. i`m sorry. )':