nothing.

huh.

!#$%^&*^&*()_ fuck it.

everything is slipping. just slipping through my fingers.
i try to grasp and hold on. but i can`t.
like trying to retain water with my bare hand.

the more i try to keep it,
the more i fumble, the more errors i make.
and the water i hold in my hand, it gets spilt again.

but the water drips away anyway,
no matter how hard i try my darnest, to keep whatever little is left.
maybe that`s the way, the way things should be,
for the water to go somewhere else.

i don`t want to stop trying, don`t want to give up,
but maybe its a lost cause.
i should have known from the start.
i should have seen it coming,
this is something that i should have expected.

its not like its never happened before.
i just cannot match up.
this blame is mine, again.

ding.

i wonder, what makes me think i`m worthy? what makes me think that i deserve what i wish for, what i want. no need for dreams now, when you know it won`t ever happen. look at you ding, compared to anyone, do you think you`ll match up? compared to that, how can you ever be anyone`s choice? gosh. how dumb can you get? how many times must you go through this for you to understand? you`re worthless ding! worthless! oh daddy, i need you now.